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I was watching this show (Extreme Home Makeover)the other day and I realized (again) what a horrible show it is. I mean sure they help people that need help but come on! If I had been in desperate need of a home I shouldn't call on them. That obnoxious Ty with his megaphone and all his "helpers" that cries all the time...how the hell they get a house together in just a week is beyond me...I mean they stars to cry every minute. And EVERY time I have seen it they all cries about how terrific the families are and how just that family is the best one and how wonderful they are and how much they deserves this house...and I always feel for the families to and can totally see that they needs help and a house BUT if you really need a house shouldn't you be happy for a normal house...do you really need a mansion that should make Hugh Hefner green of envy (okay maybe he wasn't the best example...I thought about the size not the chicks)...and I will never forget when Ty cried about a family that had lost the mother or father of the family and Ty says that now when they have built them this house can they go on with their lives...yeah, because giving them a house is TOTALLY giving them their parent back...No I really hates that show and my husband loves it so I always find myself in front of it (feeling sick and wanting to kill myself). Again, I totally feel with the families and think that they totally needs and deserves this help. I have a problem with this constantly crying and the fact that they exaggerate so much, I really think that a house with 15 rooms and 5 floors is just TOOOO much. I should start to love the show if they take that fucking megaphone and put it somewhere there the sun never shines ;) (pick your favorite, I don't care witch) But then again it can be the swedish person in my that don't like this "showing feelings in television"-crap. Swedish persons is this kind of persons that if you punch him in the eye he says "thank you, feel free to punch me in the other too if you want to". I love examples so here comes one: In one of my old schools we couldn't sing the national anthem when the school finished. This because all foreign people should take it the wrong way!! And to top it all we didn't even have any foreign people on that school except the adopted ones and one that had a swedish mother and a father from another country. So we can't sing the national anthem because the foreign people should take it the wrong way and there isn't any. In Sweden we're so afraid for racism that we don't sing our own national anthem...IF you sing it you are called racist. The last thing I am is racist but I like to be able to sing my own national anthem if I like to! Speaking about the national anthem "Du gamla Du fria" (You old You free :)), in other countries national anthems they sing about how much they love their county and want to live there...In Sweden's national anthem we sing that we want to live and die in Norden (The "nordic") witch is a name for 5 countries: Denmark, Norway, Finland, Iceland and Sweden. I mean what is that about? I want to live and die in Sweden but whatever...Now I am a big racist because I like my country. If I shouldn't like it I should have moved. So well, I should do something more today, I should pick up some chairs at my grandmothers place. I tries to make my apartment nice and cozy. It may take some time but PLEASE don't call on Ty and company because I like my apartment and don't want to have to cry my eyes out in TV. And I don't want to have to clean a 6 floor house with 23 rooms...I just realized what it's all about, If they makes the houses this big the family never have to see each other again...that's something to cry about...or the fact that they have SOOO much cleaning up to do in this big house... So TY can stay there in his big country and I stay here in the small country up north that in some decades has disappeared because we have said "go ahead and take over our county" to many times... // Betty Current Location: In front of the computer where else...
Current Mood:  thoughtful
Current Music: Lars Winnerback - Hjarter dams sista sang.
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Hello everybody! Finally is the internet working again. For those of you that don't know it I have just moved and we haven't got any internet. But now it's working...it is hard to live without internet, I mean I am really addicted to it. No way to check out IMDB or live-journal is HARD or my mail (not that anybody writes but anyway ;)). Moving is hard to do, finally we have started to come in order, but we still has a whole lot to do. We have thrown out a lot of stuff and now we need to buy new things and it takes time. But it is fun! I still thinks that life is hell and are really depressed, this last sort of medication is not helping and because I have moved is it another hospital that shall have me from now on so I am between to places and no one take care. I shall meet a doctor October 15 and have to manage until then. And to top it all my grandfather died and we are going to the funeral tomorrow. And my husbands uncle is really sick and they don't think he is going to survive this year. So it is always something that's bring me down. But someday I'm sure I'm going to fell fine too and are going to be able to live my life happy...but right now it feels like that day is very far away...No, I should stop complaining in all my entries, it is boring for other people to read. Just one and a half week to our Paris-tripp. It is going to be so nice, just me and my husband...a late honeymoon...we got married two years ago but better later then never right :-). It is now we have the money to do it and it's going to be soooo nice. I have never been there, none of us have so it is going to be wonderful to find our own favorite places...so much we can in six days at least. Maybe someone here has an idea about what we just must do in Paris? A nice restaurant or shop or something we need to see? Tonight season 2 of Veronica Mars starts on swedish television. Jippie...so fun. I have really been looking forward to that! Okay so I have already seen it all (downloaded it to my computer of course...who wants to wait THIS long ;))but still...It is not the same. But I guess that I am going to give up swedish television after some weeks like last time...they translate it SO bad...all the jokes and other stuff never gets translated and I am so used to read the translation that I can't help myself and then I just gets so angry because all the fun stuff disappear in the translation. It is really "Lost in translation" (hi hi) and I don't like it. Besides I have ordered the DVD-box but I still hasn't got it. I start to think that my husband lies to me (he has ordered it) because he just says that it is going to come in a week and it is like 3 weeks ago. We ordered it the same day it was released. And when we bought the first season DVD it was the same story and the same excuses...hmm...suspisious ;) No I know that he has ordered if he says so and I just hopes it comes soon. Today I started to watch the end of a movie on TV. Suddenly I realized that the school looked very familiar. It turns out that it is filmed where I grown up (and have moved back to now...) and that it was my old school in the film...fun! I know who some of the persons in the film were also. It's a small world after all ;) Like I wrote earlier I'm going to my grandfathers funeral tomorrow. I am sad of course like you are when someone close dies. But I'm so mad at my cousin that's not going. If he would have had a good explanation why I shouldn't have cared but his excuse is that he doesn't get along with our grandmother...that she don't like him and doesn't think anything he does is good...The rest of the family are like WHAT? My grandmother is very fair and treat all of us the same way, she has never done anything to my cousin except that she once, many years ago, told him that he should stop swearing at his mother and said that he was immature. This was like 10 years ago and if my grandmother said anything he must really have been out if line (she never says anything to anybody if she doesn't think it is really out of line and she always wants to bee fair and it is almost like she doesn't says it even if she really thinks it is bad). And my cousin can be really horrible to his mother and I guess that's was why she said something...One of my uncles is gay and my cousin use it, he says like "Grandmother doesn't think I am mature but he is gay and she thinks he is mature". (And there is a real prove for that he is immature and grandmother was right but that's besides the point). I just thinks he can shut up and swallow his immature ways for this day...I mean his problem isn't with grandfather (or was with him)...and they all live in a really small town where people gossip about everything and this is the gossip of the day. So my father called my cousin up to tell him that people gossip and now he's not talking to my father either...what a big baby, I just like to punch him in the face... Now I'm going to bake a cake because I have promised my mum...I hate baking but well, when mum ask you... ;) Hughs // Betty Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  creative
Current Music: RENT soundtrack (LOVE IT!!)
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So this one is going to be a bit depressed and maybe boring...and I am going to complain maybe...so if you don't want to read that so don't! Ok...consider yourself warned. So like maybe some of you know I have been depressed for some years and in April I finally realized that I can't get out of this on my own and that I need help. So I have been on antidepresive medicine since april and I have started to feel better. But last sunday I started to feel a bit sad and monday I just felt worse. When I took a shower I had some kind of breakdown and tried to cut myself with a razor-blade. But it wasn't that hard and I was so clear that nothing happened. But I was scared because I have never had any feelings like that...that I want to hurt myself or even die because I am so useless and ugly and nobody would miss me if I die. I know that this isn't true but during this breakdown I just couldn't help myself. So anyway I told my husband and he called my parents and then we went to the hospital. I spent many hours at the ER and then the psychic-ward and they told me to take less of my medication and then gave me some kind of relaxing pill and then they let me go home. I have been to my parents home most of the time with them and my husband. They can't leave me because I panic when I'm alone. They have been in contact with the psychiatrist every day because I feel so bad. Thursday I talked to the psychiatrist myself and got another tablet that I can take if I get panic-atacks. Now I feel better, I have been able to be to stores without panicking but I am afraid that it's going to come back. I feel stupid because of the razor-thing and the fact that my family must be with me all the time because I freak out otherwise...I feel like the whole house gets smaller and smaller and I can't breathe. Panic-atacks is hell...I think I'm going to die and I don't want to feel this way anymore! The psychiatrist said that it's because I have taken to much medication and that my body have to get used to the new medication I have gotten. In april when I should get used to the first medication I felt better for like three days and then it get worse again so right now I feel good but nothing says that I'm going to feel that way tonight...Shit, I hate this!!! But writing about may help so that is what I'm doing right now... To look at the bright side, the heat has finally disappeard and now it's raining here. It's so nice with some rain... I feel like my head is made of cotton and I don't think my english is the best today so if anybody is reading this I hope you understand what I am writing...I can check my spelling but not the gramamr so I don't know if it's good but like I write...I hope you understand. It's very hard to always feel stupid and meaningless, I have always felt this way but the last week have been worse than ever...and the stupid thing is that I know that it isn't true...but I have so high expactations on myself so I must be able to do everything, even if everybody else doesn't. I must be able to do everything even if nobody have shown me how...stupid I know but i am working with this and I hope that it's going to be better!! It feels better to write about this and I don't care if anybody reads it or not (but hopefully somebody reads :)) One more happy note is that Veronica Mars season 2 pretty soon comes on DVD!! Jippie ;) Hejdå å ha det så bra så hörs vi ;-)!! (After all I am swedish so...Goodbye and have a good time so are we going hear each other again...well kind of like that ;-)) Kramar/Hugs // Betty Current Location: At my parents place
Current Mood:  depressed
Current Music: Higwaymen - Live forever
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Okay so what I really should be doing is clean up because there is a guy coming to look at the apartment tomorrow. But I still end up here instead posting yet another meaningless entry. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be posting this much in some weeks but right now I feel like it and that's what matters. I got to sleep at-last last night (or this morning) around 4 o'clock. And finally my cold has disappeared and I'm going to work tomorrow...that's why I'm not going to update as often...I mean I do have a life and a work to take care of to :-) Not that it seams like it right now but whatever... Cleaning up is so boring all the time but when you are moving in three weeks it is just plain pain full...my husband has disappeared...he told me that he should check the oil in the car like over an hour ago...It's not like the car are in freaking Germany or something, it is down in the parking lot just 100 meters from the apartment...but I guess that he is cleaning up in there instead of in the apartment. Can' say that I blame him, it is still way to hot to be doing anything (except sitting on the internet :D) I am such a clots sometimes, I have always some bruise or some wound because of something stupid I have done. Right now I have a big burn on my tummy...I don't know if I should tell but it is not like any of you know me (yet anyhow). I mean I am one of those persons that could get stuck and break my thumb when I am wiping my behind (No, it have not happen...yet). An example: I cut my hair the other day from long to rather short. Very nice and I am very happy for the change BUT before I just put my hair in a ponytail and headed of...now I have to work on the hair so I don't look like a troll. So I went out and bought a hair straightener (I guess that's what it is called). Because I am very hmmm....economic (read stingy) and I needed a curler to, I thought I bought some thing with both straightener and curler on it. Many thing for a smaller sum is my melody...I got like 10 things at the same time, you just change the tool on this long handle (it kind of looks like a dildo but whatever). Very practical. Well anyway so I put on the straightener and tried it. It worked good actually so I thought that I should try the curler even if my hair is to short. So I took of the straightener but the handle was still on power. So I thought that I should see if the handle was warm...HOW STUPID AM I?? I mean the thing has just straighten out my hair AND the hair was warm during that time...so anyway I put the warm (of course) handle on my belly...to make a long story short (a little to late for that ;)) now I have a wound like a decimeter long right beside my bellybutton. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME...learn something of my stupidity :) And there is the time I throw myself back in the couch and got a concussion...Clumsy is the least you can say... Well my husband have shown up so it is time to start cleaning up! Very fun!! Take care everybody! Hugh's // Betty Current Location: In front of the computer at home
Current Mood:  lazy
Current Music: DJ Satomi - Castle in the sky
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bettyboopsweden's journal
embarrassed
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